Agreements for Engaging and Interacting

1. “Try it on:” 
   • Meet new ideas with a beginner’s mind.
   • It’s okay for anyone to make mistakes.

2. Speak from your own experience.
   • Describe your own feelings and perspectives.
   • Use “I” statements; do not speak for a whole group.

3. Refrain from blaming or shaming self and others.
   • Practice giving skillful feedback in alignment with our organizational values.

4. Understand the difference between intent and impact.
   • Acknowledge that harm may have been caused despite good intentions. 
   • Denying the unintended impact of something can cause additional harm.
   • When harm has been identified, strive for a collaborative resolution or to make repairs.

5. It’s okay to disagree.
   • Pause and explore disagreements as possible areas for insight and growth.

6. Practice “both/and.”  
   • Acknowledge and honor multiple realities.
   • When speaking, consider substituting “and” for “but.”

7. Move up/Move back.
   • If you tend to speak often, consider “moving back” and if you tend to speak less, consider “moving up.”
   • Look for ways to invite more voices in the discussion.
   • Be lean in expression to make room for others.
   • Be aware of how your energy is contributing to the group.

8. Be present.
   • Listen mindfully. Try to avoid planning what you’re going to say while others are speaking.
   • Take time to connect with others in the context of the group (e.g. starting with a moment of grounding, greeting in Zoom chat, or personal check-ins).
   • Observe the right to pass if you don’t wish to speak.

9. Honor confidentiality where applicable.
10. Offer care to yourself and others.

Adapted from the Visions Collective via East Bay Meditation Center. To download a pdf of our Agreements for Engaging and Interacting, click here.

Updated March 8, 2022